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About Literature / Hobbyist James Roberson68/Male/United States Recent Activity
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Suprise! :icongrassa48:grassa48 2 9
Literature
Things that make me go: Hmmmm.
I do wonder about some things, because I am a "know it most" rather than a "know it all."
Why do people buy toyotas when a realota only costs a few dollars more. And an iota just costs a few cents
Why do people like suebaru so much? Sue Baru is a bitch, Mary Baru is much nicer.
I know what lives in a domicile. What, pray tell, lives in an imbecile.
What makes a bug so comfortable in a rug? It would seem that a bug in a mattress would be snugger.
Who is the damn fool who created rifles for squirrels?
Why would anyone want to con a sewer? Or to be a con a sewer?
Why do folks praise wine snobs, but react strangely when I say that I am a salt snob?
Why are incompetent murderers rewarded? As in being charged with attempted murder, then given a lesser punishment?
Who the hell are the "They" who seem to decide everything?
Why aren't a lizard and a buzzard related?
Who is the first man who ate an oyster. I mean, it looks like it fell out of the nose of an ox. Tasty though.
What happened t
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Literature
The Best of Both Worlds
The Best of Both Worlds
You get the limo out front
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color.
When you're turning tricks, it can be kinda fun
As long as daddy never, ever discovers.
 In some ways you're just like all your friends
But in bed you're a star.
 You get the best of both worlds.
I make straight A's you know
Then I rock a nude show.
You get the best of both worlds.
Mix it all together
And you know that it's the best of both worlds.
 You go to movie premiers
With kings to the finest of shows.
Sex for cash is a little weird
But school's cool 'cause nobody knows.
 Yeah, you get to be a small town girl
But big time when you take off your clothes.
 You get the best of both worlds
I make straight A's you know
Then I rock a nude show
You get the best of both worlds
Mix it all together
And you know that it's the best of both worlds
 No pictures or autographs
Keep your face off the magazines.
The hardest part is that
You never show who you really are.
 
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:icongrassa48:grassa48 1 0
Literature
Just a shortie.
Itsy Bitsy Vampire
Itsy bitsy vampire
Went up the water spout.
Along came Van Helsing
To chase the vampire out.
Summers turned to winter
Van Helsings gone to Spain.
Itsy bitsy vampire
Crawls up the spout again.
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James 8 4 16 :icongrassa48:grassa48 2 9
Literature
Killing them all
Well, you can tell by the way I use my gun
I'm a killing man, I kill for fun.
Screams loud and blood so warm,
I've been kicked around since I was born
Hey that's all right, that's okay
You may turn and look the other way
Or you can try to understand
How schoolyard bullies warp a man
Whether you're a brother, a cracker or a mother
I'm killing them all, killing them all!
Feel your body shaking, feel the taboo breaking
I'm killing them all, killing them all!
Kill, kill, kill, kill, killing them all, killing them all.
Kill, kill, kill, kill, killing them all!
You know, I feel low and I feel high
If I don't feel either someone will die.
Got the blood of angels on my shoes
I'm a slayin' man and death can't lose
Well it's all right, it's okay
You can laugh the livelong day
Or you could try to understand
How schoolyard bullies warp a man
Whether you're a brother, a cracker or a mother
I'm killing them all, killing them all!
Feel your body shakin', feel the taboo breakin'
I'm killing them
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:icongrassa48:grassa48 6 5
Literature
No peace at dinner.
Do you think that it is asking too much from the world for a man to be able to sit down to a nice dinner at the end of the day and to watch his favorite version of the evening news? Do you? I thought not. Have I been getting to do this? Nooooooo. For every day this week I have had to tangle arse with Satan. Yes, the Devil his disgusting self has popped up in the middle of my house and tried to beat the proverbial crud out of me on each and every day this last week. Well, the weekdays at least. It seems that Satan doesn't work on weekends.
Anyway. On Monday I was making a brutal end to a number of chicken wings when the Devil shows up wanting to wrestle. I must confess that at first just sat there with an undoubtedly stupid look on my face. I figure that Satan's pointing and laughing were at the expense of my appearance. The Devil is base enough to do things like that, you know. He says: "Boy, we gonna wrestle. Now get up and meet your end like a man." This I was unwilling to do. R
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Literature
Good ideas that were wasted.
I have decided that the TV network executives are totally insane. A bunch of know-nothing jerks who wouldn't recognize a good idea if it waked up and bought them lunch. To be specific as to the reason for this realization, I submitted a number of program ideas to the major networks and got a lot of snippy letters in return. I was called among other things "idiotic," "a numbskull," "a social maladroit with anti-social tendencies" and my favorite "totaly barren of any worthwile ideas."
I ask you, really, wouldn't you want to watch the following shows?
Fornicating With the Stars?
So You Think You can Cuss?
America's got Perverts?
American Pick-Pockets?
Jumping the White House Fence?
Surviving Dachau?
Cut the Right Wire or Die?
I mean, just what is wrong with any of these ideas? With decisions like these, it is no wonder at all that the major TV networks are in trouble.
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:icongrassa48:grassa48 1 10
Literature
Three Poems
It is time and past time for me to post something. Here are three poems inspired by various muses.
First, let me share a poem that was inspired by the following photo: Checking In At the Garbage Can, the Stare
Scavenger Squirrel
Who's that beast by the garbage can,
Who'll find food there if he can,
At least that is his rodent plan?
Scavenger Squirrel, Scavenger Squirrel, Scavenger Squirrel!
Who burries nuts in your flower bed,
And drops nut hulls on your head,
Then gnaws a hole in your storage shed?
Scavenger Squirrel, Scavenger Squirrel, Scavenger Squirrel!
 Whose depredations have never ceased,
Uses the bird feeder for a feast,
Who is a pain in the arse at least?
Scavenger Squirrel, Scavenger Squirrel, Scavenger Squirrel!
Next permit me to share a short piece of verse that was inspired by a wonderful photo of a feral cat posted for all too short a time here on DA. The photo was
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:icongrassa48:grassa48 1 5
Literature
The wonderful meal
            Dinner last night was an adventure. It all began after I finished chasing a bear out from under the storage shed. Dratted bear believes that he has a right to live under there, dinning upon the berries and squirrels that infest my yard. But that’s another story.
            I showered, put on a suit for camouflage and walked down to a local eatery. The eatery shall remain nameless for reasons soon to be revealed. As I entered the restaurant the maître d greeted me. “Do you have reservations?” he asked.
             “Yes,” I said, “but I’m hungry enough to throw caution to the winds and eat here anyway.”
            “Oh, thank you, sir!” he responded. Showing me to a table the maître d said “This is our nices
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Literature
'Twas the Fight Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house;
every creature was armed, right down to the mouse;
The claymores were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug ‘neath their beds,
While visions of mayhem danced in their heads;
And ma in her flack vest, and I in steel cap,
Had just settled down for a nice winter's trap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I fired off a flare to see what was the matter.
Then through the window flamed rockets bright flash
It blew open the shutters and blasted the sash.
The moon glowing red on the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of blood to the objects below,
What then, what to my horrified eyes should appear,
But a heavily armed elf, and eight armored reindeer!
With a spray of bullets accurate and thick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he cussed and he ranted, and called them by name
"Now, Bluche
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:icongrassa48:grassa48 7 10
Literature
A large and hungry toad
 
A large and hungry toad
Waits along the way
Of dogs he’s et his fill
A kid would make his day.
He’s always waiting here
His arse rests in the mud.
This poor, forgotten toad
His friends have turned away
He has left a pool of tears
Sobbing, crying all the day
“Why leave waiting here
My arse resting on mud?”
All his life he’s been alone
And many times he’s cried
Anyway you'll never know
How hard his friends have died.
This poor forgotten toad,
His arse rests in the mud.
He eats up cats and dogs
Sometimes he eats living crud.
Don't leave him waiting there,
Let him in your door.
But still this misbegotten beast
Lives as best he can.
We left him waiting there
A long, long time ago.
A large and hungry toad
Waits along the way
Of dogs he’s et his fill
A kid would make his day.
He’s always waiting here
His arse rests in the mud.
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:icongrassa48:grassa48 2 5
Literature
Frosty the snowman
Frosty the snowman used to sell us lots of dope.
We’d get so high and stare at the sky
And forget about things like soap.
With his water pipe and his raw red nose
And two eyes black as coal.
Frosty wore the strangest clothes
And staying stoned was Frostie’s goal.
 
One day the narcos came and they shot Frosty down,
No one wondered then why dead Frosty had a frown.
Frosty the Snow Man is an urban tale they say
He sold lots of snow but the children
Know how he came back to life one day.
There must have been some juju in that monkey mask they found,
For when they placed it on his head he began to dance around.
Frosty the snowman threw a party, yessiree.
And the children say he could kill and slay
Just the same as you and me.
Snorty, snort, snort
Snorty, snort, snort
Look at Frosty go!
Snorty, snort, snort
Snorty, snort, snort
Snorting hills of snow!
Frosty the snowman knew how to get revenge.
So he said to the narcos "Let's you run
And I’ll have some fun, as I blow
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:icongrassa48:grassa48 3 0
Literature
Moloch Loves the Little Children
Moloch Loves the Little Children
All the Children of the World
Red and Yellow, Black and White
They’re all delicious in his sight
Moloch Loves the Little Children of the World.
 
Let me tell ya now;
 
Moloch Loves the Little Children
All the Children of the World
White and Yellow, Black and Red
They all keep his tummy fed.
Moloch Loves the Little Children of the World.
 
It’s true that;
 
Moloch Loves the Little Children
All the Children of the World
Red and Yellow, White and Black
Moloch eats ‘em for a snack
Moloch Loves the Little Children of the World.
 
Oh, yes folks;
 
Moloch Loves the Little Children
All the Children of the World
Black and Red, Black and Yellow
Moloch toasts ‘em like marshmallow
Moloch Loves the Little Children of the World.
 
Listen to me now;
 
Moloch Loves the Little Children
All the Children of the World
Beige and Brown, the Half-breeds too,
He eats ‘em any way but stewed
‘Cause Moloc
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:icongrassa48:grassa48 2 4
Literature
I Have Got My Love to Keep Me Warm.
 The idiots are voting
The politicians blowing
But I can weather the storm!
What do I care how much it may storm?
I’ve got my hate to keep me warm
 
I can’t remember a worse December
They’ve turned off my heat
Oh, what do I care if I’m lost in the dark?
Oh, I’ve got my hate to keep me warm.
 
Off with my overcoat, (they took it)
But please close my gate
I need no overcoat,
I’m burning with hate!
 
My heart’s on fire,
The flame grows higher
So I will weather the storm!
What do I care how much it may storm?
I’ve got my hate to keep me warm
 
I’m burning with HATE!
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:icongrassa48:grassa48 1 0
Literature
Deck the Walls
 
Deck the walls with heads of foemen,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Be they knights or be they bowmen,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
 
Don we now our war apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
You kill William, I’ll kill Harold,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
 
Drive the broken force before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Crush their skulls and join the chorus.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
 
Follow me in martial measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Spill the blood and seize the treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
 
Fast away the clangor passes,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Slay the lads and rape the lasses,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
 
Slaughter we joyous, all together,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
In summer wind and winter weather,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
 
 
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Today, I was blocked for the first time without any warning, or an argument. There are those who blocked me before, usually for telling the truth about them. Once I was blocked because I called "Lord Voldemort" "Lord Moldyfart." Lately, folks have been blocking me because of my politics.

 I wish I knew why I was blocked by this person, as I can see no reason, but there you are. See, you can experience new things at any age!
  • Listening to: Aurora Teargarden
  • Reading: The Mark of a Murderer
  • Watching: a cat chase a dog
  • Playing: CHILL and Bridge
  • Eating: seafood soup
  • Drinking: cola. diet no cafiene cola

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grassa48
James Roberson
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Spent my life trying to stay one step ahead of those men with that wonderful canvas coat; the one with the extra long sleeves and all those straps, buckles and such. Defenestrating oneself is useful in this.
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:icongrassa48:
grassa48 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
You are quite welcome.
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:iconshiftermagi:
ShifterMagi Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the llama
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:iconshiftermagi:
ShifterMagi Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch!
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:iconmt-photografien:
MT-Photografien Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
many thanks for the faves and watching Hug Heart 
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:iconnekomimikairi:
nekomimikairi Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for the watch ^.^
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:icongrassa48:
grassa48 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
You are quite welcome.
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:iconevildogbum:
EvilDogBum Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2016
oh wow.
Keep up the great writing!
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:iconspid3rshark:
spid3rshark Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Would you mind teaching me some poetic words ^^?
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:icongrassa48:
grassa48 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not sure what you mean by "poetic words," but I will be happy to share what I can with you. Please give me more information and thanks for watching me.
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:iconspid3rshark:
spid3rshark Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
*pen and paper* tell me the basic notes in writing in your words
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